Okay, how many of you remember a television series, Green Acres, with Eva Gabor and Eddie Albert, 1965-1971?? Raise your hands. (I know you're dating yourself a little here--and I certainly am--but it gives you a frame of reference!) Here's a picture to jog your memory:
Now, insert faces of Pat and Gary---
and the saga begins...tame the land, work the machines, trim the trees, plant the flowers. (To my gardening friends, Lynne, Jamie, Angela, Pam, I don't understand your passion, but I absolutely respect it!)
With Spring springing, the weeds have run amuck--by amuck I mean knee-to-waist high. A thick mass of unkempt greenery covered our front yard. Time to get the weed wacker out. With manual in hand, we started it, Gary put on the protective gear--white suit, gloves, goggles--and began. I watched. (Those of you who know anything about gardening know that the weed wacker, henceforth called WW, can only TRIM weeds that long.) With much swearing and weeds flying and dodging of stone, the tops of the weeds came off. And we quit for the day.
Next day: we decided to use a bigger blade, not the skinny orange plastic thingies, for the WW, to get to the bottom of the weeds. Enter the neighbors: farmers, gardeners, raisers of living things, they asked, ever-so-politely, what were we planning to do with that muther of a blade??? When told of our plans, again, ever-so-politely, they told us that blade was better used for tree branches, not weeds. Would we like him, Silvano, to finish up the trimming for us? It would only take five minutes and he'd be happy to do it. Hell YES!!!
We can only imagine the conversation they had a lunch: Did you see the blade the Americans were going to use for the weeds? Don't they know they could take out a window with a flying stone from that blade? Break an ankle? Flatten a tire? Blind himself?? And it took Silvano only TEN MINUTES to finish the job.
I don't like gardening. I don't like to get dirt under my fingenails. My manicure goes to hell when I work in the garden. BUT, I love a pretty garden. I love a neatly manicured lawn, pretty flowers, colorful plants, rich, green trees. Usually we hire a gardener to do the job...this year we vowed to embrace country life and do it ourselves. (enter: Eva and Eddie)
Sidebar: I just got up to get a glass of water--2 AM here--and saw a 3" scorpion on the wall. Oh yeah, I'm embracin' country life...I only squealed once. He is no longer with us.
Also, I don't like to ask for help. I can read a manual and research when to plant a seed and how much to water a geranium. I assume I can figure out how to trim the weeds and plant the plants...not true. It is a humbling experience to be unable to do something so apparently simple.
We now have a master plan to tame the land in front of the house--our bosco, forest, will have to wait another year--we're putting gravel down and planting all trees and plants in manageable pots, thereby limiting our gardening excesses. We will have the pretty flowers and trees with minimum gardening work, we hope.
Eva and Eddie will live to face another day of uncharted life in the country!
Now, insert faces of Pat and Gary---
and the saga begins...tame the land, work the machines, trim the trees, plant the flowers. (To my gardening friends, Lynne, Jamie, Angela, Pam, I don't understand your passion, but I absolutely respect it!)
With Spring springing, the weeds have run amuck--by amuck I mean knee-to-waist high. A thick mass of unkempt greenery covered our front yard. Time to get the weed wacker out. With manual in hand, we started it, Gary put on the protective gear--white suit, gloves, goggles--and began. I watched. (Those of you who know anything about gardening know that the weed wacker, henceforth called WW, can only TRIM weeds that long.) With much swearing and weeds flying and dodging of stone, the tops of the weeds came off. And we quit for the day.
Next day: we decided to use a bigger blade, not the skinny orange plastic thingies, for the WW, to get to the bottom of the weeds. Enter the neighbors: farmers, gardeners, raisers of living things, they asked, ever-so-politely, what were we planning to do with that muther of a blade??? When told of our plans, again, ever-so-politely, they told us that blade was better used for tree branches, not weeds. Would we like him, Silvano, to finish up the trimming for us? It would only take five minutes and he'd be happy to do it. Hell YES!!!
We can only imagine the conversation they had a lunch: Did you see the blade the Americans were going to use for the weeds? Don't they know they could take out a window with a flying stone from that blade? Break an ankle? Flatten a tire? Blind himself?? And it took Silvano only TEN MINUTES to finish the job.
I don't like gardening. I don't like to get dirt under my fingenails. My manicure goes to hell when I work in the garden. BUT, I love a pretty garden. I love a neatly manicured lawn, pretty flowers, colorful plants, rich, green trees. Usually we hire a gardener to do the job...this year we vowed to embrace country life and do it ourselves. (enter: Eva and Eddie)
Sidebar: I just got up to get a glass of water--2 AM here--and saw a 3" scorpion on the wall. Oh yeah, I'm embracin' country life...I only squealed once. He is no longer with us.
Also, I don't like to ask for help. I can read a manual and research when to plant a seed and how much to water a geranium. I assume I can figure out how to trim the weeds and plant the plants...not true. It is a humbling experience to be unable to do something so apparently simple.
We now have a master plan to tame the land in front of the house--our bosco, forest, will have to wait another year--we're putting gravel down and planting all trees and plants in manageable pots, thereby limiting our gardening excesses. We will have the pretty flowers and trees with minimum gardening work, we hope.
Eva and Eddie will live to face another day of uncharted life in the country!
No matter what you two do, I know it's going to beautiful! Gravel and potted plants sounds like a really good plan. Don't forget to put down "géotextile" (that's what the French call it)-a kind of mesh to stop the weeds-otherwise, they'll come up right through the gravel and then be really impossible to WW!
ReplyDeleteA note on scorpions-the ones in Europe aren't really dangerous (so they say) but, like you, I was simply horrified by them the first few years. Now I kill them much more calmly :-)
Bon Courage! And Love! Lynne