I've gone into a freeze mode...I know the signs--sleep, sleep, sleep, do one thing and be done for the day, cuddle up on the couch with a blankey and stare at the tv, eat, not keep up with my communications, shut myself off from all but the necessary daily contacts, not do the things I love to do....
Easter Sunday, on the train to Amsterdam from Brussels, I was struck with intense intestinal cramps. I assumed it was something I ate, and while seriously uncomfortable, it didn't seem serious-serious. And it continued, all Sunday and Sunday night, Monday, Monday night, Tuesday, Tuesday night, and so on----You know the question: What is your pain level on a scale of 1-10? 1 being low, 10 being high? I was at a constant 5 with shooting intervals of 7-8. Ugh...
3 AM Monday morning, I knew, with the unrelenting pain, SOMETHING HAD TO BE DONE---so I rolled over and poked Gary. I'm a firm believer in sharing my pain; no need to suffer alone. Within minutes he was online (thank God we had internet in our apartment) looking for a Dutch doctor--he found an ex-pat clinic around the corner, we sent an email, waited, and in the morning got an appointment....
***a TMI spoiler***I also began to have rectal bleeding and, of course, I was sure I had colon cancer.
Long and the short of it, both doctors (I also went to Urgent Care because I wasn't satisfied I had all the information I needed) said it probably was food poisoning or an intestinal virus that led to a tear in the colon which resulted in the bleeding....watch what I eat, if it continues for a week, see a specialist...Phew, great news, a lovely birthday present, although the celebratory dinner was cancelled. Who could eat???
Throughout the rest of the week in Amsterdam I slowly rebuilt my strength and stamina and was able to see some of the sights and play with our friend, Kathy Brue.
I have never felt so relieved to be "home" as when we landed back in Italy; I breathed deeply and immediately felt better. I know the system, the people, the language, where to go, who can help....The biggest lesson? I feel at home here. I have achieved a comfort level that allows me to face apparently insurmountable obstacles. Whoa--a HUUUUGE positive lesson.
SOOOO, why the freeze mode? We were in a strange country--not that The Netherlands is strange, it's just not home--we didn't know who to see, where to go; we didn't know how serious this was--hospitalization serious? Go back to Italy serious? Go back to California serious? It's serious now, but it'll pass serious? I am now hyper-aware of any "movement," monitoring everything I eat, responsive to any tiny twinge of pain....it's an obsessive thing that's no fun. It's getting in the way of living my life. I don't like it. So I freeze up. I'm working on the defrost mode.
Some Fun Amsterdam Facts:
**we paid out-of-pocket for all the medical bills---
* 90 euro to see the ex-pat Dr.-ON A HOLIDAY
* 26 euro for a blood test
* 200 euro for a lab test
* 100 euro for the Urgent Care visit (and only because we asked if we should pay as we left--we could have walked out and not paid a cent!)
* 0 euro for the phone consult
Total: 416 euro, 3 doctors, 2 tests, 2 clinics
** We don't have private medical insurance while we're here; so far (knock wood), we've been able to pay out-of-pocket with little impact.
** English is the national language of The Netherlands; all classes are taught in English and there are English signs for everything.. However, the Dutch like their language...lots of Dutch spoken on the streets.
** The Dutch of Amsterdam are bike crazy---there are more bikes than people (people, 800,000, bikes, 1,000,000). The taxi and Uber drivers all say the bicyclists are anarchic--they truly don't care if there's a car coming or a pedestrian in the way, THEY have the right-of-way(!).
** Amsterdam is a very clean city...very little graffiti, no trash in the streets. It's lovely.
** The tulips are in bloom and absolutely mind-blowingly beautiful. The Van Gogh Museum is stunning, the Rijks Museum had a beautiful Rembrandt exhibit, and the Anne Frank Museum is a moving testimony to the indestructability of the human spirit.
** Spring has arrive in Le Marche and I have nature exploding all around me.
With all this bounty, beauty and creativity around me, why wouldn't I set the defrost button???
Easter Sunday, on the train to Amsterdam from Brussels, I was struck with intense intestinal cramps. I assumed it was something I ate, and while seriously uncomfortable, it didn't seem serious-serious. And it continued, all Sunday and Sunday night, Monday, Monday night, Tuesday, Tuesday night, and so on----You know the question: What is your pain level on a scale of 1-10? 1 being low, 10 being high? I was at a constant 5 with shooting intervals of 7-8. Ugh...
3 AM Monday morning, I knew, with the unrelenting pain, SOMETHING HAD TO BE DONE---so I rolled over and poked Gary. I'm a firm believer in sharing my pain; no need to suffer alone. Within minutes he was online (thank God we had internet in our apartment) looking for a Dutch doctor--he found an ex-pat clinic around the corner, we sent an email, waited, and in the morning got an appointment....
***a TMI spoiler***I also began to have rectal bleeding and, of course, I was sure I had colon cancer.
Long and the short of it, both doctors (I also went to Urgent Care because I wasn't satisfied I had all the information I needed) said it probably was food poisoning or an intestinal virus that led to a tear in the colon which resulted in the bleeding....watch what I eat, if it continues for a week, see a specialist...Phew, great news, a lovely birthday present, although the celebratory dinner was cancelled. Who could eat???
Throughout the rest of the week in Amsterdam I slowly rebuilt my strength and stamina and was able to see some of the sights and play with our friend, Kathy Brue.
I have never felt so relieved to be "home" as when we landed back in Italy; I breathed deeply and immediately felt better. I know the system, the people, the language, where to go, who can help....The biggest lesson? I feel at home here. I have achieved a comfort level that allows me to face apparently insurmountable obstacles. Whoa--a HUUUUGE positive lesson.
SOOOO, why the freeze mode? We were in a strange country--not that The Netherlands is strange, it's just not home--we didn't know who to see, where to go; we didn't know how serious this was--hospitalization serious? Go back to Italy serious? Go back to California serious? It's serious now, but it'll pass serious? I am now hyper-aware of any "movement," monitoring everything I eat, responsive to any tiny twinge of pain....it's an obsessive thing that's no fun. It's getting in the way of living my life. I don't like it. So I freeze up. I'm working on the defrost mode.
Some Fun Amsterdam Facts:
**we paid out-of-pocket for all the medical bills---
* 90 euro to see the ex-pat Dr.-ON A HOLIDAY
* 26 euro for a blood test
* 200 euro for a lab test
* 100 euro for the Urgent Care visit (and only because we asked if we should pay as we left--we could have walked out and not paid a cent!)
* 0 euro for the phone consult
Total: 416 euro, 3 doctors, 2 tests, 2 clinics
** We don't have private medical insurance while we're here; so far (knock wood), we've been able to pay out-of-pocket with little impact.
** English is the national language of The Netherlands; all classes are taught in English and there are English signs for everything.. However, the Dutch like their language...lots of Dutch spoken on the streets.
** The Dutch of Amsterdam are bike crazy---there are more bikes than people (people, 800,000, bikes, 1,000,000). The taxi and Uber drivers all say the bicyclists are anarchic--they truly don't care if there's a car coming or a pedestrian in the way, THEY have the right-of-way(!).
** Amsterdam is a very clean city...very little graffiti, no trash in the streets. It's lovely.
** The tulips are in bloom and absolutely mind-blowingly beautiful. The Van Gogh Museum is stunning, the Rijks Museum had a beautiful Rembrandt exhibit, and the Anne Frank Museum is a moving testimony to the indestructability of the human spirit.
** Spring has arrive in Le Marche and I have nature exploding all around me.
With all this bounty, beauty and creativity around me, why wouldn't I set the defrost button???
